You should go and love yourself

I’ve been struggling with my ability to trust in myself for a long time and lately it’s really been put to the test. I am however a firm believer that everything that challenges us, is also helping us grow.

The relationship we have with ourselves is, after all, the most important one we’ll ever have and while I don’t think a life without love for other people is a life worth living, I do know that in order to have any successful relations with anyone else you must first love yourself. There is simply no way around it. It’s hard but it’s absolutely possible. All you need is practice, practice and some more practice.

In hard times I turn to Pinterest for some inspiration and confidence boosts and I’ve put together a collage of my favorite quotes and mantras. Most of them are simple and can seem so obvious but we need a reminder every once in a while.

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Sitting with pain

A few weeks ago, I was listening to an episode of yoga girls podcast where she and her mom talked about pain. They mentioned something that stuck with me, probably because it resonated with me so much. They talked about the ability to sit with pain and the importance of being able to sit with pain.

I’ve been completely unable to sit with pain. The thought of sitting with the pain I feel, feeling those feelings fully and not distract myself with anything feels absolutely impossible to me. I will either try to fix everything right away or I will distract myself so much that the distraction itself becomes destructive. Trying to fix the cause of the pain might sound like a good thing, and at some point it is. I am at the center a positive soul and a fighter. I will never ever give up on what matters to me and that is a beautiful trait that I will never excuse.

However, using “fixing” as a band-aid, instead of feeling what hurts is not healthy. You have to feel it in order to heal. Otherwise, you don’t get the realizations you need in order to actually do everything you can to fix the problem and heal the pain for real.

This is something I’ve learned from my boyfriend, long before I listened to yoga girl talking about it. He has been able to sit with pain and he claimed it to be necessary in order to heal and feel better. That sounded insane to me at first but now I get it. The things I’ve learned from that boy are many. He doesn’t realize it of course and neither do I at first. But when I am forced to just stop and think, it hits me and I can’t help but think how grateful I am for finding someone that not only loves me but challenge my otherwise so monotonous brain.

I’m in the middle of pain as I write this and the reasons are not relevant to this post. I spent all morning trying to “fix everything”, desperately doing anything to ease that pain that scares me so much. Then I realized the only way for me to fix anything is to feel what hurts and learn from it. It is not easy. It is pretty fucking terrifying. But it is absolutely necessary.

All pain that we feel is transforming and healing, even if it doesn’t feel like that when you’re in the middle of it. My constant escape from pain and obsessive need to find the cure to everything has deprived me of the lessons the pain could have taught me.

I always used to have this fantasy of the perfect life and especially the perfect relationship. I felt like if something bad happened or if I went through a struggle it was ruined forever. Like nothing was allowed to crack that perfect facade or it wouldn’t be real. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The cracks are what shapes us, as individuals and as a couple. The cracks are what makes it REAL. As Ernest Hemmingway so nicely put it: “We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.” A perfect facade with no cracks is not real at all.

What’s important in this, however, is to learn from every crack in the facade of the beautiful house we build together. The cracks teach us about ourselves and each other and you need to see them for what they are in order to fix them. When you learn from the cracks you’re able to fill them in with what’s needed and you have the knowledge you need to prevent the facade from cracking too much. Because we all strive for a smooth facade and we all do what we can to keep it smooth. The lesson is not to stop striving for a strong house but to accept that all houses have flaws and that is what makes it beautiful and unique.

As you read this post you may wonder what kind of mushroom I had for breakfast. Or you might resonate with these thoughts and feelings I expose in this post. Writing it down is helpful to me in this practice of sitting with pain and learning from my mistakes. Note, LEARNING from my mistakes, never punish myself for it. We are all just human and we all want well but the ability to learn from the pain and the mistakes you might have made is crucial for making it better.

Lots of love <3

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Yesterday’s

Hello dear friends!

Yesterday we celebrated my brothers 17th birthday with the family. It was really cozy and I’m still suffering from the food coma…

My patient brother took a billion pictures of me because I was very satisfied with my outfit and wanted to show you here on the blog. I hope you’re all having a cozy Sunday!

Dress from Mango (old) // Shoes from Superga // Earrings (made myself from two tassels)

He might hate me for posting these but seriously, someone give this guy a modeling contract…

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Roadtrippin’

Hello dear friends!

Last weekend I went to Sweden with Bogdan. We stayed in my moms apartment in Helsingborg and on Saturday we took the car and went on a roadtrip along the coast. We went to Höganäs to shop at Lager 157 and we stopped along the way in Domsten and Viken. The sights were beautiful and I couldn’t help thinking about how badly I wanna live by the sea. It’s been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. The sea just makes me so calm and happy.

Here are some pictures from our roadtrip!

 

I’m posting these pictures with the risk of my mom seeing that I borrowed her shirt after swearing I wouldn’t touch her clothes…

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Interior dreams

Hello dear friends!

Spring is getting closer and it’s making me long for some change. My home has always been very important to me. For some it might sound shallow but it’s actually the opposite. My home is my sanctuary, my safe space where I can relax and recharge my batteries. I love interior and making my home look pretty and homey. It’s like therapy for me. When I don’t feel satisfied with my home-situation I feel out of balance and as the libra that I am, I don’t deal well with my everyday life when I’m out of balance.

These past months I’ve been living with Bogdan in a very small room. We literally do the dishes in the bathroom sink because we have no kitchen. It’s been cozy and romantic and all but let’s face it, there is only that much “we are so in love, we only need each other, we could sleep in a tent and be happy” a person can take. Especially for the anxious, slightly spoiled princess that I am. Don’t get me wrong, I’d choose our love over a comfy home any day of the week but if I can have both don’t freakin’ mind if I do.

Between searching for apartments and contacting landlords I’ve drifted away onto interior websites and of course my dear old friend Pinterest. Even though I don’t know how our new home will look like I still find it ridiculously satisfying to plan the interior into the tiniest detail.

    
               
         
Source: Pinterest

 

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Inspiration station

Hello dear friends!

I always like to enter a new year with a positive attitude and a mindset that anything really is possible. But to be honest, I’m no green smoothie-drinking superhuman and I actually started the new year with the worst mood and a horrible attitude. I have so many goals and dreams for this new year and I was overwhelmed by everything I wanted to achieve. I have always had my eyes on the stars so to speak, but I tend to have absolutely no patience, which results in frustration over not reaching my goals fast enough. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one on this planet with this problem. I know I can achieve everything I set my mind to and I have faith in myself but I want everything to happen right this second, preferably sooner.

My motto for this year will be to work my ass off with the things I’m passionate about, but have patience and let things take time.

My little new year meltdown aside, I am so very excited about this year we have ahead of us. I’ve decided to be brave this year, to step out of my comfort-zone and challenge myself. I know it will be scary at times but there is no greater feeling than the one that comes after overcoming obstacles and doing things you didn’t dare to do before.

I’ve Pinterested my eyeballs out since this year started (more than usually if that’s even possible) and I feel really motivated to go chase my dreams. I’ve put together an inspiring collage that will surely give you a little motivation, weather you’re feeling happy and ready to take on the new year or you’re fighting the winter-blues one day at a time.

                                 

 Source: Pinterest
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