Autumn love

There is something about fall and particularly this pre-fall we just entered, that makes me feel so happy and inspired. The summer humidity is replaced by a fresh, cooler air and it makes me feel high on life. To me, this time of year is way more like a “New Year” than the actual New Year. I wanna star up new projects, make changes and explore new places.

There is also a certain melancholy about this time of year. It’s both beautiful and sad at the same time. It’s so clear that something is ending and it brings a certain sadness but at the same time, I am so ready for the new season to begin. My whole body is craving some change. Now, as we are slowly approaching September I can feel my motivation peaking and my thoughts becoming clearer.

Welcome autumn!

 

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Lots of love,

Lisa Belinda

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“There are those who are humble and those who are about to be” -Debra Silverman

When I first started this blog, about two years ago. I was living a very holistic life and I was writing mostly about beauty and wellness. During this time I was using almost only natural and organic products and constantly educating myself on the different benefits of natural skincare ingredients vs. the dangers of many conventional skincare ingredients. I was always reading books and articles and watching youtube videos, learning about health, nutrition, and wellness. It was not only a huge passion of mine but also my baby blanket, that helped me cope with stress and anxiety. I have understood long ago that our mind and body are not two completely separated things. They are connected and you can’t have a healthy mind with an unhealthy body and vice versa.

I slipped out of the holistic mindset for a while as my life got turned upside down about a year ago. At this point, I also shut down the blog temporarily and went under the radar from the life I had had. This was when Bogdan and I had just split up and I spent the following 8 months living a very destructive and toxic lifestyle. I was partying a lot, drinking a lot, being horribly irresponsible and basically doing anything and everything I could to drown my sorrows. I was constantly trying to distract myself and to not feel because I knew that if I stopped to think or slowed down my speed, even for a second or allowed my self to feel the pain I was carrying, it would have killed me.

This made me very distant to the person that I actually was and that I am. The girl I was before the breakup was slipping further and further away until I could barely see her anymore. During this time “wellness” was the last thing I cared about. I started using beauty products that I knew was toxic, I didn’t think twice about whether something was cruelty-free or not, I didn’t eat enough,  I drank way too much alcohol, way too often and I even smoked every once in a while. I had always hated cigarette-smoke and I still thought it tasted horrible. It made me cough and I knew it was bad for me but I did it anyway. I  fact that was the only reason I did it. I was chasing dangers. The rush I used to get from love was replaced by the rush I got from adrenaline. I didn’t care about anything anymore.

At the end of this period, inevitably life caught up with me. I remember having meltdowns and panic attacks that would last for days because I was no longer able to distract myself. My body got tired of living life the way I had and as soon as I slowed down my pace, even a little bit, my emotions came back and hit me in the face, full force. As though that wasn’t enough I also became aware of what a horrible person I had turned into during this time. I suddenly became aware of how much I had hurt the people who loved me. But maybe the most devastating realization was how much I had hurt myself. This still haunts me and I can look at pictures of myself as a child thinking “how could you do this to her?”

When I left Copenhagen I was far from “recovered”. My robot facade had peeled off a bit but instead of having an instant wakeup call and snap back to reality, I was living in a weird gray zone. This is where I became horribly unhappy. My baggage had caught up with me but I had no idea how to deal with it. I withdrew from my friends and I was feeling so lonely. Whevener anyone reached out to me I pushed them away. My mind was yet not clear and I was only feeling angry with my surroundings. I felt angry with the city for ruining me. I felt angry with my friends and the people around me for dragging me into that toxicity. Truth is, I was only running away. I have always loved Copenhagen and that city has taken care of me when I’ve been alone. That city carries some of my most beautiful memories. That city is where I met the love of my life for the first time. I’m done blaming other people or places for my own mistakes. In the end, I make my own decisions regardless of the people around me or the places I’m in.

During this whole time, the one person that I could still always rely on was Bogdan. Even though we had broken up, he was still there for me. He was the one I called when I wanted to escape this manic life that I had. He was still the only one I could be myself with 100%. He was the only one that could make me forget all the pain for a brief moment. He was the only one that could still make me laugh until my stomach hurt. He was the only one I could spend Sundays in bed with, watching Netflix all day without feeling any pressure of being someone I actually wasn’t. He was the one that dropped everything and came across the whole city to pick me up and bring me home when I was having a panic meltdown. And in the end, he was the one who still loved me no matter the amount of pain I had caused him. I was damaged cargo. I was an abandoned little bird with broken wings and legs that could barely carry me. He took me in and pieced me back together bit by bit. He was just as hurt as I was, if not more, and I was the one who had caused him pain. Yet he was the one taking care of me as though I was the victim. I am so grateful our love was able to survive this period. Despite all the damage that’s been made, we stand strong together once again and I thank the universe for him every day.

With this post, I wish to close the door to this painful time of my life. I will do all I can to not beat myself up over the past because I know it won’t change anything. What I can do, is to live in the “now” because that is really all we have.  What I can do, is to make sure I’m being authentic and honest with myself. What I can do, is to make sure I’m always humble and kind.  What I can do, is to make sure I never push my feelings away no matter how painful they are to feel. Because if there is one thing I’ve learned it’s that those feelings will catch up with you sooner or later.

As for this blog, I will still keep posting honest stories and share my struggles and learnings. I will also incorporate way more health and wellness posts. Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, the connection between mental, and physical wellness is unavoidable. On my way to recovery and finding my way back to my old happy self, all aspects of health have been crucial.  With meditation, exercise, and the right nutrition I can finally say I’m feeling like myself again. I still struggle with my mind because that has been an ongoing battle since long ago but I have found my way back to me. The girl that I thought was lost, has come back, and the baggage she now carries may be heavy and uncomfortable but it has brought wisdom and made her more humble than ever.

 

Lots of love,

Lisa Belinda

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Summer vibin’

Can we all just take a minute and appreciate the wonder that is the wrap dress? It’s comfortable, it’s fashionable, it’s versatile, it’s classy. Let’s just say Diane von Furstenberg knew what she was doing. How many times have you wore a tight bodycon dress, feeling smashing when leaving your house, only too loose all circulation in your upper body within an hour and looking like you’re 30 weeks preggo after eating? How about we leave the bodycon dress back in 2010 where it belongs and go on with our lives, never compromising comfort for style.

I am loving the heck out of this gorgeous wrap dress from Zaful! I will live in this for the rest of the summer. It’s so comfy and cute, and GUESS WHAT? It’s only 20$!

Buy it HERE

(This post is a collaboration with Zaful) Should also add they run extremely small in size, I’m wearing size M here but I could probably fit an L as well.

xx

Lisa Belinda

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HAIRY

Last week I went to get my hair done by Sandra at Nooz in Malmö. It was the first time I was there and I was quite nervous because I always find it so scary to try a new a new salon. My hair is naturally curly and many hairdressers don’t know how to handle that. You need to be more careful and gentle on a curly hair since it’s naturally more dry and fragile so it’s important that the hairdresser has respect for that. The second I sat down in the chair and we started discussing what we could do with my hair, I knew I was in safe hands. I should also add that I hadn’t been to a hair salon in a year so Sandra had quite a project ahead of her. I wanted to cut off all the damaged, split ends and do blonde highlights that looked natural. She also included a treatment from Keune in the highlights called Bond Fusion, which is basically like the hyped Olaplex. It helps keep the hair healthy and strong and keep it from breaking from the bleach. She also used colors from Keune which are more gentle on both the hair and scalp than traditional hair colors. She did highlights in 3 different shades to get a more natural look and I was beyond happy with the result. Finally, I have found a hairdresser that I want to keep coming back to.

Most of the products I use to keep my hair healthy are from Kevin Murphy. I’ve used it for about a year and I don’t see myself switching anytime soon, they’re AMAZING. They have a lot of different lines so you can find something that fits your hair perfectly. Their products are cruelty-free and free of parabens and sulfates and they also have a lot of products that are vegan. Something I also love about Kevin Murphy’s products is that they have a travel-size in all their shampoos and conditioners so you can try it out before purchasing a full-size bottle. (Not sponsored, just a fangirl).

Below, I’ve put together a little guide of how I take care of my hair:

Step 1: I wash my hair 1-2 times a week. Once a week, before washing I smother my hair in organic, virgin coconut oil. I usually put it on in the morning and let it sit all day before washing my hair in the evening. I know coconut oil is the most hyped oil on the planet and people seem to be using it for absolutely everything. I never use it on my face or body because it’s highly comedogenic but for the hair, it works perfectly. Coconut oil is extremely moisturizing and it has small enough molecules to actually penetrate the hair follicles. Many oils have too large molecules to actually penetrate the hair strands that results in them only coating the hairs. Coconut oil is actually one of the best absorbing oils and it gets inside the hair follicles and really does the job.

Step 2: Most of the time I was my hair with Kevin Murphy Repair-me wash. About once a month I use the Kevin Murphy Maxi-wash Detox shampoo. This really gives your hair and scalp a deep-cleaning so you get rid of all gunk and product residue. I don’t recommend using a detox shampoo every wash or even every week because it would dry out the hair but as a monthly treatment, it’s great. I always shampoo twice to make sure my hair and scalp are clean. I only massage the shampoo into the scalp and not in the lengths because it will only dry out the hair and there really is no need because the hair will be cleansed when you rinse and the shampoo runs through the hair.

Step 3: After my hair is clean I pat it with a towel to get rid of excess water before applying my treatment or conditioner. The hair soaks up the products much better when it’s not soaking wet. The past weeks I’ve used the Kevin Murphy Repair-me Rinse but now that I’m blonde again I will alternate with Kevin Murphy Blonde-Angel Color enhancing treatment. I used this the last time I was blonde and It’s without a doubt THE BEST silver treatment I have ever used. You apply it from root to tip so that your whole hair gets covered and let it sit just a few minutes. It really gives the hair a cold blonde tone and gets rid of any yellowness. And after the hair is so soft and shiny and you literally smell like an angel.

Step 4: I gently pat away excess water from my hair and put it in a microfiber turban-towel. It’s more gentle on the hair and it stays put so you can get ready while your hair dries and not have several psychotic meltdowns because your towel keeps falling off. When I take the turban off my hair is still wet but it’s not dripping anymore. Then I brush my hair with a Tangle Teaser-brush. I know everyone says it’s a big no-no to brush the hair when it’s wet because that’s when it’s the most fragile and prone to break. BUT a curly girl’s gotta do what a curly girl’s gotta do. If you have curly hair you know exactly what I’m talking about. The tangle teaser also makes it possible to brush even wet hair in the most gentle way because the bristles are soft and bend with the hair instead of thugging and breaking the strands. Last, but FOR GODS SAKE not least, I apply hair oil. If you have blonde hair, make sure you don’t use a dark or yellow, hair oil as it will make the hair yellow. Instead, choose one that is light or transparent in color. The one I’m currently using is Wella SP LuxeOil. I really like it and it smells divine. I have tried many hair oils and this is definitely one of my favorites. I also like Maria Nila Soft Argan Oil.

Most hair oils, including the one I’m using now, contains cyclic silicones, which are a form of silicones that cosmetically improve the look of the hair by laying on top of the strands and coating it, making the hair appear very soft and shiny. Cyclic silicones are actually quite harmful to both our health and the environment and I would highly advise everyone to avoid this ingredient in skin products, especially those you apply to your whole body such as body lotions. Cyclic silicones are absorbed by our skin and when it gets into our bodies it can be toxic to our organs an have a negative effect on fertility.  However, almost all conventional hair oils contain cyclic silicones and the natural alternatives I’ve tried have only made my hair look greasy and not as smooth and shiny. So, for now, I’m still using hair oil with cyclic silicons in it but I would love to find one without. If you know any good ones, let me know in the comments.

If you wanna check your products for cyclic silicones, look for these in the ingredients list: Cyklometikon, Cyklotetrasiloxane, Cyclopentasiloxane och Cyklohexasiloxane. They are all forms of cyclic silicones that we should stay away from for the sake of our health and our beautiful planet.

  1.  Virgin Coconut Oil HERE
  2.  Shampoo: Repair-me Wash, Kevin Murphy HERE
  3.  Detox Shampoo: Maxi-wash, Kevin Murphy HERE
  4.  Conditioner: Repair-me Rinse, Kevin Murphy HERE
  5.  Color Enhancing Treatment: Blonde Angel, Kevin Murphy HERE
  6.  Microfiber Turban-towel HERE
  7.  Hair oil: LuxeOil, Wella HERE

Lots of love,

Lisa Belinda

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