The start of the new year has been very emotionally challenging for me. I’ve been feeling very uprooted and fragile. I’ve had memories that I’ve been suppressing, boiling up to the surface and I’ve had many days when I’ve been very sad and emotional. I’ve been feeling lost and like I don’t know where my life is going. I know what I want but I’m not sure how to get there. The start of the new year has really made me question myself. Am I working hard enough to reach my goals? Am I focusing on the right things in order to reach my goals? I made a promise to myself that this is the year when I make things happen. The year when I put the snowball to roll (can you even say that in English? Anyway, you know what I mean). I have exciting and big plans for myself and I am very ambitious. BUT procrastination and fear are my two biggest enemies. It’s easy to tell yourself “oh, this year m gonna work harder, this year I’m gonna reach my goals”. But those “resolutions” are too vague and that makes it really hard to achieve. What I will tell myself instead is “This year I will stop procrastinating, I will adopt a “get shit done” attitude and just fucking do whatever needs to be done right now not in ten minutes, not tomorrow, but right now”. I will also ignore my fear of failure. I can’t remove it, it’s there and it will keep being there but I will give zero fucks to what it has to tell me. If I faile, well then I’m one experience richer. If someone thinks what I do is dumb or that I’m not doing a good job, then that their issue, not mine.
Those are my new year’s resolutions in regards to my career. I have a lot more regarding my mental health, relationships etc. but I was thinking of doing a Youtube video where I talk more about that. Speaking of YouTube, that’s one of the things I kept procrastinating in 2018. Luckily 2019 doesn’t allow me to postpone my dreams so you can expect my first YouTube video soon.
I hope you have had a good start to the new year and If you’ve been feeling fragile and confused like me, try to see it as something positive. Like a purge of old habits, memories and behaviours that are being released to you can let them go and become yourself 2.0 without any of that old junk weighing you down.
Lots of love,