Can we all just take a minute and appreciate the wonder that is the wrap dress? It’s comfortable, it’s fashionable, it’s versatile, it’s classy. Let’s just say Diane von Furstenberg knew what she was doing. How many times have you wore a tight bodycon dress, feeling smashing when leaving your house, only too loose all circulation in your upper body within an hour and looking like you’re 30 weeks preggo after eating? How about we leave the bodycon dress back in 2010 where it belongs and go on with our lives, never compromising comfort for style.
I am loving the heck out of this gorgeous wrap dress from Zaful! I will live in this for the rest of the summer. It’s so comfy and cute, and GUESS WHAT? It’s only 20$!
My inner critic: “You’re not strong enough. Your vulnerability and your anxiety make you weak. You’re not successful enough. You’re almost 24, you should have come way further than this by now. All the mistakes you’ve made has ruined you and now you’re damaged forever. Oh, and you really should go to the gym more often. You’ll never be happy unless you get rid of that cellulite and that little pizza baby. It’s a fucking miracle how anyone can love you, you don’t deserve it”.
My inner best friend: “Sweetie, don’t listen to that bitch. Your vulnerability is what makes you special. Your struggle is actually your strength, it’s what makes you compassionate and understanding towards others. Success should not be measured in money on the bank or materialistic things and even if it did, you are just as successful as you need to be right now. You have come such a long way, you have accomplished amazing things already. All your mistakes have taught you so much and shaped you into the amazing human that you are now. Oh, and about going to the gym… You should only ever work out to feel good mentally and physically, never by the demand of that dumb criticising bitch telling you to lose weight. You’re beautiful just as you are”.
I got the inspiration for this post after I had listened to the latest episode, “The inner critic”, of Yogagirls podcast. I highly recommend everyone to give it a listen because it addresses something we are all struggling with. We all have an inner critic, telling us that we aren’t good enough, for whatever reason. It’s very hard to get rid of this horrible criticising voice but the only way to do so is to let your inner best friend speak louder. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend. Compliment yourself the way you would compliment your best friend. Empower yourself the way you would empower your best friend.
Summer has made sure we know she’s arrived. Sweden is in a drought and the appreciation of the sunny weather I felt at the beginning of summer has now turned into a constant reminder that global warming is real. I alternate between soaking in the sun with an ice-cold drink in my hand and crying in the car while blasting the AC and cursing over how unbearably hot it is. These warm days call for some easy breezy fashion staples to get you through the summer looking, maybe sweaty but at least FINE AS FUCK. I have put together a collage of some of my favorite summer-style essentials.
I was casually scrolling through zara.com, putting stuff in my basket and asking myself why I don’t write a blog post instead of wasting my time with such worthless activities. Like an answer from the universe, my visit at zara.com reminded me about a very important topic that I have been postponing writing about for some time now. Not because I haven’t wanted to write about it but because It’s a topic that is so emotionally charged and sometimes very provoking. It is also a topic that is very close to my heart and that I, together with most women, have a personal history with. I’m talking body image and anxiety regarding our own bodies.
What struck me at Zara’s website wasn’t the fashion, it was the insanely skinny models. Not model. Models, as in plural. ALL of the models were really, really skinny. This is a very sensitive subject to many and it seems impossible to address this without stepping on anybody’s toes. To be clear, I am not ever gonna say that one body type or size is better than another and just like it should be totally acceptable to have a fat body it should be totally acceptable to have a skinny body (and everything in between). There are women who are naturally very skinny. However, there are not very many women who are naturally THAT skinny. I’m talking borderline anorexic. Some women can definitely be that skinny naturally and that is just as beautiful as any other body type but I know for a fact that many models, in general, don’t have a natural and healthy relationship to food because of the pressure and ideal the model industry puts on them. So the odds that some (or all) of the models that Zara uses are actually sick, are pretty high. And an eating disorder should not ever be promoted, regardless of how skinny the model is. So there was our first issue.
The second issue is that Zara didn’t have a variety of models in different sizes whereas some of them were very skinny. No, ALL of them were very skinny. That makes this a very provoking statement on their behalf. They have purposely chosen to have only very skinny models for their website. That means they think the clothes look better on a skinny girl and therefore believe they sell better when being promoted on a very skinny body. What a disgusting message to send out to the world, and particularly to all the young girls shopping at Zara who are not yet able to see through this unhealthy, brainwashing propaganda. The people at Zara who are responsible for these choices are obviously not unaware of the major issue we have in this world with eating disorders and unhealthy body images among young girls and women. Still, they chose to stick they heads in the sand and use only very skinny models. And before any smartass tells me “but the fitting samples that fashion companies use for the pictures only come in very small sizes”, I’d like to compare that statement to a baker saying “Ohh, My customers are requesting buns with vanilla but I only make buns with cinnamon”. Ehm… Well, make a fucking bun with vanilla then. Make fucking samples of your clothes in a larger size. Have a variety of models to promote your clothes. Make more sizes and body types feel included. Stop promoting eating disorders. Make such a small simple change and be a contribution to a better fashion industry.
Zara is just one amongst too many companies promoting an unhealthy ideal for women. On a positive note, there are also many fashion companies who have been smart enough to follow the fresh wave of body positivity that is currently growing and just the past year we have seen a lot bigger variety of bodies being represented in the fashion industry. Let’s hope Zara and the rest of the late bloomers will realize what a responsibility they have as such large companies and get onboard the train towards a brighter, happier future for young girls and women all over the world.
I look so genuinely happy in these pictures that I’m almost able to fool even myself. I’m actually laughing for real because the photographer a.k.a. my brother, was really funny. However, just because someone is able to laugh at a funny joke for a picture doesn’t mean said person isn’t having a shitty, fucking hell of a day. Just because a picture looks spontaneous and effortless doesn’t mean it hasn’t been planned into the tiniest little detail. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with planning and staging photos. When you work with social media you have to plan and stage your photos and kudos to all the hard working influencers who put their heart and soul into their jobs, creating amazing, inspiring content. But it’s important to let it be just that: Inspiring. It’s important to bear in mind that most of the content you see on social media is not as effortless as it looks. Sometimes it is but far from often. It’s important to remember that the girls you call “goals” have just as many issues and insecurities as everyone else. I used to follow so many influencers on Instagram that I considered “inspiring” but I’ve come to realize that they were only making me feel bad about myself for not having what they have, for not looking like they do, for not being as successful as they are. That is not inspiration, my friends, that is self-destructive.
I’ve unfollowed most of those accounts and now I only follow people I find actually inspiring. They can be beautiful, create amazing content, eat on the fanciest restaurants, travel to the most exotic places and buy the most expensive of bags as long as they don’t withhold the fact that they are human beings with issues and insecurities of their own. I’m 23 and it took me this long to get skin thick enough to differ bullshit from reality but many young girls out there are not able to make that analyze, I sure as hell wasn’t when I was younger. I’m happy to see that so many influencers have chosen to keep it real and be more authentic on their social media platforms but until Instagram includes “Be real or go home” in their user policy, we will have to take matters in our own hands. Do yourself a favor and unfollow anyone who makes you feel even slightly bad about yourself. Don’t hate on them because that is an effective downward spiral straight to hell that will only make the social media climate worse. Just simply let go of what doesn’t serve you. Inhale the empowerment, exhale the bullshit. Etc. etc…
SHOP THE LOOK! (adlinks)
Dress: Aéryne HERE // Shoes: Superga // Watch: Similar HERE
I’m so used to writing long posts where I pour my heart out, sharing all my struggles and latest epiphanies with you. I really love expressing myself through words like that this blog is an opportunity for me to inspire people to open up about their thoughts and struggles. I want to live in a world where there is no shame or taboo regarding mental illness and where it is as natural to talk about and to treat as physical illnesses are. The past years we have really come a long way with this issue and there are so many cool people and influencers using their power and following to drive this forward and spreading awareness. It’s not easy, opening up about your own struggles with mental illness and it takes a lot of work and courage to do so on social media but the more people who do, the sooner we will break the taboo (didn’t mean to rhyme I swear, but also felt really content with myself when I noticed it).
It makes me genuinely pissed off to think about the celebrities and influencers with a huge following who use their power for absolutely nothing. I’m not gonna name any names here but if I had 108 million followers on Instagram I would do more than launch a cosmetic brand and go to galas. Don’t get me wrong, I would do all those fun stuff too but I would also realize the responsibility that comes with that massive following. I’m not saying everyone needs to share their own struggles and be personal on their social media platforms. I’m just saying they should acknowledge the fact that there are issues in this world and what they put out there has a major impact on their followers. They need to inspire to realness instead of floating around La-la-land with an inflated ego while casually spreading sick body ideals.
As for my own social media platforms, I’m not here to lecture or even educate anyone about mental illness, I’m simply here to share my experiences and talk about it without shame while casually living my life and creation inspiring content. I don’t just blog about mental illness and it’s not the main category of this blog but my mental health has had a lot of space in my life and naturally that is something I write a lot about. This is my creative space and I create content that is relevant to me and since I have been struggling with mental illness on and off for the past 10 years, that is a cause that is really close to my heart. The most important thing for me is to be authentic and honest and if that helps people I am beyond happy. The other day, I got such a sweet message from a guy who had read one of my latest posts; “You were going that way anyway“. What I wrote had resonated with him and I had been able to put words on the feelings he was experiencing. This made me so happy to hear because that is exactly what I want. I want to be able to make people feel better just by relating to what I write. Mental illness has a way of making you feel like the loneliest freak in the world and there is nothing more comforting than to be able to relate to others who are going through the same shit.
Thanks so much to all of you who are reading my blog on a regular basis, it means a lot to me. I would be so happy if you would comment to let me know what you think of my posts. So far it seems like only my mom and spammers have found the comment section and they’re getting lonely there…( I accidentally removed the comment icon at the bottom of the post but if you click on the heading of the post and scroll down it’s all there).
PS. Can we all just take a minute and appreciate the magical lighting in these pictures?
SHOP THE LOOK! (ADLINKS)
Jeans: Crocker (old) // Shoes: Superga HERE // Bomber jacket: Old (Similar HERE and HERE)
I have created my own store here on the blog. It’s a selection of all my favourite products, easily accessible for you.
You’ll find it under “SHOP” in the top right corner of the menu. I will add more and more products as I go along so be sure to check in every now and then to find more amazing products that I truly love. Simply the best of the best, collected in one place.
There is nothing like an empty bank account to make you absolutely lose your mind. I’ve had to be extra carful with my money lately and haven’t been able to do much shopping. I honestly think lack of money is bad for the mental health. When I say lack of money I mean in a very first world problem kind of way. Where being poor means you still got food on the table and a roof over your head but your diet consists of cup noodles and you’re sitting in your bed filling online shopping carts with all the clothes you wish you could buy, just to close the tabs an hour later and get back to reality.
My point is, when you’re trying to get through the cold dark months of winter you need every ounce of happiness you can get and yes, that sometimes comes in a shopping bag. Retail-therapy is REAL folks. Shopping makes you happy, end of story.
Something I’ve really been craving lately is flower embroidered jeans. Paired with a basic white T-shirt and leather belt- YUM. The #1 wanties are from Gucci and cost way more than I’d be willing to spend on a pair of jeans. But I was able to find some similar models from other brands.
If you’re crafty you could even buy embroidered flower patches and sew on an old pair of jeans. If that thought makes you go “ain’t nobody got time for that”, you can just have a look at these budget versions I’ve found of the gorgeous Gucci-jeans we all crave. (Click on the pictures to get to the link).
I met with my friend Ekua earlier this week. We walked around in Copenhagen and had brunch at a really cozy café called Paludan. Definitely worth a visit if you´re in Copenhagen. It´s decorated as a library which is really cozy and they serve a magic cappuccino.
Excuse the bad picture quality. I thought I had put the camera on auto but it turned out it was night-mode. I didn’t realise it either so all the pictures look like shit. I promise I will learn how to use a camera so I can take proper pictures.
I must at least give myself some credit for not looking like I’m absolutely about to freeze to death in every picture. It was so cold this day and it even started snowing. I had to buy a sweater so I wouldn’t die (lame excuse for shopping I know).
Well, “vill man va fin får man lida pin”, Swedish saying that literally means if you want to be pretty you have to suffer. They don’t call us vikings for nothing.
Judging from my recent Pinterest activity, I’m in desperate need of spring. This awful Scandinavian January-March weather is so horrible. It’s like three months of depression you just have to get through every year. Am I the only one who feels like I completely lose my sense of style when it’s cold? I just can’t dress as I want to because it’s simply too cold. I can not wait for the days when you can just throw on a light jacket and you’re good to go.
As the Pinterest nerd that I am, I find there is no better way to cheer up than soaking up on inspirational sunny pictures. At least my mind gets to escape to warmer weather for a while. I hope it helps you too in the wait for sunnier days.